Celebs | Dude On The Bus!

Kris Humphries Is Not So Smart With Money

June 4th, 2011 • Celebs
Tags: Kim Kardashian, Kris Humphries

Apparently Kris Humphries, the moron marrying Kim Kardashian, has a net worth of $8 million dollars. Now, yes, that is a lot of money, but consider that he spent $2 million on the engagement ring. $2 million dollars. 1/4 of his net worth on a girl that made a sex tape because her mom told her too. On a girl that gets scored on more than an NBA hoop. As you know, I never judge people as I’m an open minded person with a positive attitude about life, BUT WOW WHAT AN IDIOT. When he’s divorced in a year, he’s going to look down at his penis and say “you betrayed me again”

Jayden James Looks Hot

June 3rd, 2011 • Babes, Celebs
Tags: Jayden James

A hot shot of porn star Jayden James that was posted on Twitter earlier by some photography studio.

I like her look. Dark hair, nice eyes, red lips. Though I guess that doesn’t say much. It’s almost like me saying “I like her tits”. Everyone likes tits.

Michael Buble Is Weird

May 20th, 2011 • Celebs, Video
Tags: Baseball, Michael Buble, Vancouver, Vancouver Canucks, Weddings, Worst Day Of My Life

From the Vancouver Sun:

Vancouver crooner Michael Buble is marrying Luisana Loreley Lopilato de la Torre, who is already his wife, in his hometown tonight.

The Vancouver nuptials at an undisclosed downtown Vancouver hotel come slightly more than a month after his March 31 wedding to the Argentine actress in her home country.

ET Canada said the sequel wedding will be attended by hundreds of the couples’ closest friends and family.

“We’re both nervous, but we’re excited,” Bublé, 35, told Entertainment Tonight Canada. “It’s just another excuse to celebrate our love, have a few drinks and to dance all night.”

Seriously? Marrying her AGAIN, even though you’re already married? What the fuck dude! Michael Buble and I share one thing in common, and that is that we are both passionate Vancouver Canucks fans, but we are totally different in every other way….like the fact that he’s rich and can get any woman he wants.

Anyway, I like this guy’s thoughts on weddings better.

The Men At The IMF Are Apparently Horny

May 20th, 2011 • Celebs, Random, Video
Tags: IMF, Sex

Interesting article on CNBC today about the horny alpha male men working at the IMF, and the sweet, innocent, angel’s of women that there who feel they are constantly being harassed by men.

Some women avoid wearing skirts for fear of attracting unwanted attention. Others trade whispered tips about overly forward bosses. A 2008 internal review found few restraints on the conduct of senior managers, concluding that “the absence of public ethics scandals seems to be more a consequence of luck than good planning and action.”

I know there are many douche bag men out there with no respect towards women whatsoever. There are monsters out there, no question. and I am in no way excusing their behavior. Period. Full stop.

Having said that (If Larry David knew me, he’d make fun of me for saying “having said that”), I’m tired of hearing that they all these women are damsels in distress and have no idea what’s going on.

Women know how to control men. This stuff has been going on for all of human evolution, and quite frankly, some women have no problem sleeping with their boss to get ahead. It’s just that simple. Why are any of us shocked by this?

Again, not excusing what the now former head of the IMF allegedly did to the female worker at the hotel he was staying at. If he’s found guilty, then he should be sent to prison.

Remember ladies, you have to act like a bitch sometimes, otherwise US MEN WILL NOT GET THE HINT. If you are in any way nice to a man, he will automatically think that you want to sleep with him. It’s just in our nature. It’s how we’re made, and it really sucks. Us men hate it.

Trust me, it’s not fun being horny 24/7 with no release. Women have no idea what a man’s sex drive is like. It is all consuming. If there was a pill I could take to kill it, I would be first in line.

So, women, just be bitches and you won’t have any more problems from men.

Miko Lee Is Asian. Has Big Tits. Probably A Racist.

May 20th, 2011 • Babes, Celebs, NSFW, Sex
Tags: asian, black, Caucasian, Miko Lee, Porn, Racist

Sometimes porn star Miko Lee posted this photo on her Twitter account earlier. Those are nice, big, natural tits. Surprising as most Asian chicks are as flat as a desk, but that is fine too, as I would still hit that if they would give me permission too.

Though, she’s Asian, so she really only likes Caucasian guys. I haven’t seen her fuck any Asian guys, then again, I don’t go looking for “hot chick + asian guy” in my porn searches, as that would be weird. I’ve seen her do black dudes. Once you go black in porn, there is no going back.

From what I’ve heard, they tell girls in porn to wait a while before they fuck a black guy…as apparently all us men are waiting for nothing more than to see a hot girl have her ass ripped apart by Mandingo.

So I hear….

Chicks Wearing The Same Dress

May 19th, 2011 • Babes, Celebs
Tags: Bar Refaeli, Cannes, Dresses, Victoria Silvstedt

You ever notice that girls get fucking pissed off at each other if they go to a party or something, and they look and realize they’re both wearing the same dress?

TMZ has a story about the world’s hottest Israeli draft dodger, Bar Refaeli, and some hot blond, Victoria Silvstedt, who were at the Cannes film festival wearing the EXACT SAME DRESS OMFG!!!! Seriously?

Can you imagine two men getting pissed off for wearing the same suit to something like that? I know, it’s different. The whole looks thing is totally different for men and women, as it’s all about attracting the best mate, and for men, we’re completely visual and just want the hottest girls, where for girls, they only care about looks for, say, about 20% of the whole package. The rest is personality, intelligence, etc.

It would just be hilarious to be if two straight guys were to start beating each other up if they were wearing the same Armani suit. “That mother fucker has the same suit I’m wearing! He’s fucking dead!”

You have to visualize it. Oh, and Asian women are racist. Fuck you if disagree with me.

The Clucking Hens On The View Need To Shutup

May 17th, 2011 • Celebs
Tags: Arnold Schwarzenegger, The View

These stupid hens need to shut the hell up. Especially Barbara Walters (eww!) who’s had affairs with countless married men. Don’t marry rich and powerful men. They’re going to cheat. It’s in every man’s genes to do so – to spread his seed with as many chicks as he possibly can (unfortunately they pick ugly girls to do it with sometimes – like the Shania Twains ex).

The Asian Female KKK Dominates My City

January 29th, 2011 • Babes, Celebs, Video
Tags: Asian girls, girls

Comrades, as I have repeatedly proven here on Facebook, my city is the most racist town, ever. Dominated by the Asian female KKK, your best shot of getting a female is one of the many gold diggers this city has to offer at a $1000 per minute (great deal!). Don’t be sad though, here we have Sara Jean Underwood with UK supermodel friends Rosie Jones, Victoria Moore and Emma Glover. They have…tits…and legs…I kinda lost where I was going with this.

Charlie Sheen Is A Porn Connoisseur

January 27th, 2011 • Babes, Celebs
Tags: Charlie Sheen, Kacey Jordan

via Twitter@MissKaceyJordan

From TMZ.com
Sources who were present at Charlie’s house during his 36-hour party tell us … after a man delivered a briefcase full of cocaine to the house early Wednesday morning, Charlie pulled out a small green pipe and started smoking cocaine continuously … for hours.

There are many wild details, but we’re told eventually Charlie ended up in his theater room with one of the porn stars with whom he was partying. They watched 3 hours of porn, as Charlie critiqued the action on the screen.

We’re told Charlie, who fancies himself as a porn connoisseur, was questioning his companion about angles and body shots. We’re told the porn star was “surprised” by the depth of Charlie’s knowledge.

I’m just sitting here in amazement of uncle Charlie. Seriously, this man has talent. To be able to sit there for hours with porn stars, snorting cocaine and talking about porn in an artsy way is impressive. I would have just tried to bang each of the porn stars and called it a night.

Would have been the best 30 seconds of my life.

Oh, and the banner is a photo of Kacey Jordan, one of the hot porn stars the greatest uncle ever partied with.

Fat Chicks

January 18th, 2011 • Babes, Celebs, Sex
Tags: Fat Chicks, Rosie Jonse

You know, I’m 29, take care of myself, in excellent shape, and I consider myself good looking and awesome (fuck you, I am).

Yet, here I am, still having to troll craigslist and have nothing to see other than fat chicks.

You may be asking yourself, “Well, if you’re so awesome why can’t you get a hot girl?”. Well, I’ll tell you, smart ass. It’s because I live in a town that’s filled with nothing but Asian bitches that only like Asian guys or white guys. So, a non-white boy like myself has limited options when he lives in the Asian KKK town.

As I was saying, I’m stuck browsing Craigslist and other online dating sites, and all I see are fat girls that like to call themselves BBW’s. If you’re not familiar with that term, it stands for Big Beautiful Woman. It’s just fucking ridiculous. Whatever happened to just saying fat?

Have you ever seen one of these girls naked? Rolls all over the place. It’s like that episode of family guy where Peter has that chick who’s name I forget that was dating Jack Nicholson sleep in his fat rolls. I COULD LITERALLY SLEEP IN THEIR FAT ROLLS.

Meh. Whatever. I ain’t hitting that.

I would like to hit this though….in a sexual way. This being Rosie Jones in Page 3. Oh yes. Look at those sweet tits and great flat stomach. No rolls there!

As Kramer Said, Cat Fight!

January 14th, 2011 • Babes, Celebs
Tags: Sandra Bullock, Scarlett Johansson

Now this is a Cat Fight we can all enjoy (via National Enquirer):

“You’re a man-hungry tramp!” SCARLETT JOHANSSON exploded in rage when her pal SANDRA BULLOCK betrayed her by cozying up to estranged hubby RYAN REYNOLDS — before the ink on their divorce papers was even dry.

The blonde beauty, 26, wanted her bitter words to get back to Sandra “because she still has intense feelings for Ryan and feels Sandra isn’t respecting that at all,” revealed a friend.

Scarlett is having second thoughts about her recent split and has been holding out hope of reconciliation – -but now Sandy has captured Ryan’s attention and has even gone out on the town with him.

“Sandra may be known as ‘America’s Sweetheart,’ but she’s NO sweetheart to Scarlett,” declared the friend.

Wow, is Ryan Reynolds ever a lucky SOB. I don’t think I’d know what to do if I had two babes fighting over me like that.

Naturally the first I would probably end up doing (involuntarily), is jizzing in my pants, and then, asking Scarlett and Sandra if they’d be up for a threesome.

Oh look at this, some dude squeezing Scarletts’ tits.

Californication – Season 4 Starts Tonight!

January 7th, 2011 • Babes, Celebs, Video
Tags: Californication

Correction: It starts on Monday, in Canada anyway. Fuck.

The man I wish I was, known around here as the Girl Whisperer, returns to the small screen tonight to claim all the vagina he can. That’s right friends, Hank Moody, the writer that bangs the hottest legal vagina’s (and one underage vagina by accident) is back for season 4!

Going by the trailer, this promises to be another amazing season.

Season 3 ended with Hank going to jail for banging the underage Mia Lewis (banged in season 1) played by Madeline Zima (that he didn’t know was underage when he banged her). That final scene of season 3 was really quite powerful. David Duchovny and the writers did a great job making us feel horrible for a guy that can get any piece of ass with a snap of his fingers.

Rob Lowe makes a guest appearance this season, which, going by the few scenes I’ve seen so far, add a whole new depth of awesomeness to the show.

No word if Susan Sarandons daughter, Eva Amurri, who played the luscious Jackie in 9 episodes in season 3 will return. Her stripping is an image that has been tattoo’d to my brain for eternity.

Enjoy the episode kids! It promises to be another great season!

The Jersey Shore New Years

December 31st, 2010 • Babes, Celebs
Tags: Jwoww, Snooki

I would so tap Snooki and Jwoww. I don’t care what anyone says, they’re hot….with all that makeup on.

Miss me?

December 31st, 2010 • Babes, Celebs
Tags: New Years Eve, NYE, Sara Jean Underwood

So I haven’t posted in a while, mainly due to my lazyness and the fact that I was busy moving.

Anyway, it’s NYE and I have no plans tonight. I was hoping to get find a girl to come over and hangout, but I think I’ll be ending 2010 and starting 2011 the same way as I usually do things, which is alone, bored, and a little bitter.

I moved into a new condo that I purchased and let me tell you, there are some hot ass women in this building. Very. Hot.

I naturally have no shot with any of them, which just adds to my rage. I see a lot of them with their boyfriends, and I’m just left shaking my head at how these guys manage to get these girls. I know women don’t care about looks as much as guys do, it’s all about the personality BLAH BLAH BLAH bullshit but meh.

Every time I see these girls my wallet feels a little lighter.

I wouldn’t mind getting laid though. That would be nice, I won’t lie.

I’ve been talking to a lot of Asian chicks lately, and let me tell you, they’re all racist. If you’re not white or Asian, you got no shot. But what makes it weirder is that even the ones that aren’t as racist, none of them seem to be into sex. They all seem to find it dirty and rather play with their Hello Kitty dolls.

Back to normal women. Here we have Playboy bunnies Pilar Lastra (L) and Sara Jean Underwood (R) attending some Charity thing in LA.

If you know any desperate women that are up for some action, let me know.

Paris Hilton Does Jimmy Kimmel

November 25th, 2010 • Celebs
Tags: Paris Hilton

Well, not literally, but she was on his show last night and I missed it. Oh my god I know right?!? How will I go on.

She was signing autographs for her fans. I’ll be honest. My brain has checked out on this post. It’s snowing like hell outside and I’m sitting here in my underwear.

So either look at these pictures or have a visual of me in my underwear in your head.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Victoria’s Secret Is My Favorite Holiday Gift

November 22nd, 2010 • Babes, Celebs
Tags: Victorias Secret

Victoria’s Secret models Chanel Iman, Adriana Lima, Erin Heatherton and Lily Aldridge were at the Victoria’s Secret shop in SoHo revealing their favorite gifts.

Personally, I think they’re wearing too many clothes.

Teenagers Dream About Katy Perry

November 14th, 2010 • Babes, Celebs
Tags: Katy Perry

Katy Perry took her enormous rack to the Teen Awards 2010 and teased all the boys with her magical rack.

It is magical you know. Those Apple commercials where they call the iPad magical, I doubt any of them have yet to see Katy Perry’s great tits.

One of God’s wonders indeed.

The 2010 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

November 10th, 2010 • Babes, Celebs
Tags: Victorias Secret

The Victoria’s Secret fashion show, which airs at the end of the month was taped in NYC earlier with Katy Perry as the featured singer.

I don’t know what a guy has to do to get invited to this show. I’ve seen that guy that was in that movie with that chick from Saved By The Bell who played a stripper there. What the fuck?

Damn Katy Perry Is fine.

A rainbow has never looked so great.

Oh boy, many dirty thoughts in my head now.

Candice Swanepoel…oh yes…oh yes..

I had a brain fart for a moment and was wondering what the “VS” means. Well, not a brain fart I guess, just lack of blood to the brain.

Katy Perry Got Married

October 23rd, 2010 • Celebs
Tags: Katy Perry

So apparently Katy Perry got married this weekend, and I don’t have any pictures of it, but something tells me her wedding dressing isn’t going to be showing off her big tits like most of her other outfits.

Adriana Lima Has Great Tits And An Expensive Bra

October 20th, 2010 • Babes, Celebs

Victoria’s Secret model Adriana Lima was out showing off her tits and the world’s most expensive bra, valued at $2 million dollars.

I’m probably the only straight man on the planet that doens’t find her all that hot. She’s attractive, but she seem’s like she’d be pretty hairy. Thankfully she gets that stuff taken care of.

Lea Michele and Dianna Agron In GQ Make Me Want To Watch Glee

October 20th, 2010 • Babes, Celebs
Tags: Dianna Agron, Glee, Lea Michele

Lea Michele and Dianna Agron, a couple of the hotties from Glee are in the latest issue of GQ looking like hot and slutty school girls.

I think this’ll just add to my rage for as I never get laid.

I’ve never watched Glee, and don’t really plan to, unless the girls on the show plan to dress like this from now on.

Taylor Swift And Selena Gomez Eat Their Gelato

October 20th, 2010 • Babes, Celebs
Tags: Selena Gomez, Taylor Swift

Selena Gomez and Taylor Swift were out having some gelato in London.

Meh, this is boring me already. They could have at least french kissed eachother or something.

What can I say, it makes life hard when girls don’t act slutty.

Jenn Sterger Is A Serious Journalist

October 18th, 2010 • Babes, Celebs
Tags: Jenn Sterger

So I found these pictures of that chick who is supposedly a serious journalist that Brett Favre allegedly sent pictures of his cock too.

Typical girl, has half naked pictures of herself taken, and then wants everyone to take her seriously (as a journalist in this case), and then is shocked, shocked(!), when some alpha male football player wants to bang her and sends (allegedly) pictures of his penis to her.

Whatever, she’s a typical moron like most females I encounter. But seriously Brett (and most men that do this), what the fuck (allegedly) were you thinking?

Women are not visual creatures like men. They don’t really care about seeing a picture of your cock. Yes, they go to male dressing rooms to see all you buff men, but it has nowhere near the same effect on them as it would a guy going into a female dressing room and seeing fit women with cameltoes and pink perky nipples.

This is all thanks to evolution, where men were the ones hunting and killing animals for food, our brains evolved to be able to visualize scenarios, patters, etc, far more so than women.

Anyway, dudes, stop sending girls pictures of your penis’s, especially if it’s to a girl from a craigslist ad, because in reality, you’re sending it to a gay guy.

Kim Kardashian Has Very Nice Tits

October 15th, 2010 • Babes, Celebs
Tags: Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian took her sweet curvy body out to Tao night club to celebrate her 30th birthday.

Damn, what a body. Curvy, nice big tits, great lips. I wish more women would appreciate their curves instead of looking at dumbass fashion magazines that tell them to get stick thin.

So many hot girls out there have self image issues. Hmmm, I wish I could hook up with one of those girls. They have no confidence and would probably let me have sex with them. I would like to get laid.

Aly Michalka Is Hot

October 13th, 2010 • Babes, Celebs
Tags: Aly Michalka

Hellcats (Which is filmed in hometown) star Aly Michalka was at some screening for some movie looking pretty damn fine.

I’ve seen parts of some episodes, mostly where she’s half naked as that’s when the show really keeps my attention.

I have nothing left to say. I’d do her.

Taylor Momsen Is America’s Sweetheart

October 13th, 2010 • Babes, Celebs
Tags: Taylor Momsen

Taylor Momsen, America’s sweetheart is featured in the latest issue of Revolver Magazine, looking pretty damn hot I must say.

This chick seems to have a plan, and god knows what she’s going to be doing when she turns legal. Porn? Who knows.

I would say it would have to be something is wild as porn though for it to be able to shock anyone.

Lucy Pinder Being Topless Is Driving Me Nuts

October 13th, 2010 • Babes, Celebs
Tags: Lucy Pinder

Lucy Pinder, God’s gift to men, and who should have been chosen as the office “mascot” for the London 2012 games, is in the latest issue of Nuts magazine showing off her amazing, 100% natural tits.

Enjoy.

Jayde Nicole Has Nice Breasts

October 12th, 2010 • Babes, Celebs
Tags: Jayde Nicole

Playboy model Jayde Nicole took her two friends, left tit and right tit to Cleo restaurant in West Hollywood where she made every man ask Got Milk?

Damn, what a glorious set of tits those are. Imagine waking up to those every morning. I would sleep on her tits, using them as my pillow.

Paris Hilton Arrives At The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hlls Premiere Party

October 11th, 2010 • Celebs
Tags: Paris Hilton

Seriously, I’ve never looked at a bunch of women before and said NO FUCKING WAY would I stick my cock in any of them.

Well, maybe Paris, with three condoms, and the lights off, and her promising to hide her feet. Seriously, her feet like as big as Big Birds and her squinty eye would be distracting to me.

I’m just saying.