And what do I find today on the Vancouver Sun’s web site? Yes, that’s correct, and article that SAYS THE EXACT SAME THINGS I’ve been saying.
Here, read the fucking article.

#WINNING!

As you can see by the title of my post, my title is better.

They’re attractive though. Nice curves. As our cavemen ancestors would have said: “They look healthy and fertile”. I think they’re better than the “closing time at the bar not bad” thing.

Too bad stupid weddings have had a negative effect on my ability to enjoy this.

My actual biggest concern isn’t so much if I’ll totally mess it up, because I’ve done that so often that it’s just “meh” these days, my biggest concern is if I fart or not.

I’ve been eating a lot more fruit lately, especially in the mornings, and apparently if you have too much fruit, you get pretty gassy and start farting, and let me tell you, my farts stink so bad they could suffocate an entire room.

I was watching TV last night and I let out a few farts, and OMG, I had to open up the windows. When I was on the train the other day, I let one out, and my buddy standing next to me said “oh snap, someone let out a nasty fart…”. I had to tell him it was me. Surprised he didn’t know as he was standing right next to me.

Some women avoid wearing skirts for fear of attracting unwanted attention. Others trade whispered tips about overly forward bosses. A 2008 internal review found few restraints on the conduct of senior managers, concluding that “the absence of public ethics scandals seems to be more a consequence of luck than good planning and action.”

I know there are many douche bag men out there with no respect towards women whatsoever. There are monsters out there, no question. and I am in no way excusing their behavior. Period. Full stop.

Having said that (If Larry David knew me, he’d make fun of me for saying “having said that”), I’m tired of hearing that they all these women are damsels in distress and have no idea what’s going on.

Women know how to control men. This stuff has been going on for all of human evolution, and quite frankly, some women have no problem sleeping with their boss to get ahead. It’s just that simple. Why are any of us shocked by this?

Again, not excusing what the now former head of the IMF allegedly did to the female worker at the hotel he was staying at. If he’s found guilty, then he should be sent to prison.

Remember ladies, you have to act like a bitch sometimes, otherwise US MEN WILL NOT GET THE HINT. If you are in any way nice to a man, he will automatically think that you want to sleep with him. It’s just in our nature. It’s how we’re made, and it really sucks. Us men hate it.

Trust me, it’s not fun being horny 24/7 with no release. Women have no idea what a man’s sex drive is like. It is all consuming. If there was a pill I could take to kill it, I would be first in line.

So, women, just be bitches and you won’t have any more problems from men.

Now, knowing women as I do, I know the smallest thing about a man can creep them out, so I asked, “what about him specifically creeps you out?”

At first they both shrugged and couldn’t really say one specific thing, so I pressed them on it and they both mentioned that he tends to stare at them.

Now, granted, as Dave Chappelle pointed out, us men really need to control ourselves when we stare at women. We can’t scream out (as Chappelle said) “Damn look at them titties!”, and I myself hate it when I get on the train or just go somewhere I can feel someone staring at me. Though, I doubt they’re looking at me and going “damn he’s hot..I’d love to do it with him right now…”. Though, there’s a lot of gay guys in my city, and I’ve been told by other gay men that I’d be popular in the gay community. Wish I was popular in the straight female community. Meh.

Reminds me of that episode of Seinfeld where Jerry tells George that he can’t stare at cleavage for a long period – it’s like looking at the sun, you take a quick peak and turn away.

Now I have no luck whatsoever with women. What adds to the bad luck is that my town is filled with Asian chicks, which only like Caucasian and Asian men.

There’s this really cute Asian girl that works as the floor receptionist in my building, and I have a feeling that I creeped her out once when I kept talking to her, so eventually I completely stopped…and now I think I’m coming off as a dick.

It’s really interesting because when you think about it, everything we do as humans is designed for us to mate. Everything. The human brain is really nothing more than a mating advertising machine, as has been written in The Mating Mind.

So, you would think with the milllions of years of evolution, everything that we have gone through as a species, that we as men anyway, would have at least some idea on how to deal with women, but we don’t, as our goals and interests are completely different from women’s.

We are basically clueless, especially in today’s modern world where women have gained so much power in the last 50 years (all good things), that we as men, and even women, have no idea on how to deal with this.

Women want to be treated as equals in every which way, but still want all the chivalry. All I ever hear from women is “chivalry is dead”. As my man Chappelle said, “chivalry is dead, and women killed it”.

Women, no matter what the fucking stats are saying, make just as much as men, and have lower expenses. They don’t need to pay for the dates, the trips, all the courting/mating things that have to go on. The men have to do that. That shit costs money. You can’t take a woman for just a god damn ice cream and movie anymore. No sir. Movie, dinner, perhaps a little gift, etc.

Now, I can’t blame women for wanting these things. It’s in their biology. It’s in the genes. Women are looking for a man that can bring home the bacon, that can provide for them and their offspring, etc. This stuff goes back millions of years.

But at the same time, women cannot blame us men for wanting hot, young, fertile females. That’s in our genes. They can’t blame us for “thinking with our penises”. That’s how we’re made.

Note to all women: If us men weren’t horn dogs chasing every piece of ass we could, you probably wouldn’t be around. Your father had to be chasing your mom, courting her, flirting, buying her stuff so he could eventually mate with her and get his AND her genes into the next generation.

So, yes, the guy may have come off as creepy, but then again, I think most guys at some point do, because we have no idea what the fuck we’re supposed to do.

It’s interesting, from an evolutionary perspective, that when our brain looks at said chubby female, it can figure out that she’s still young and fertile enough to be considered “yah…she’s cute, I’d fuck her”, where as if she was any older, said awesome brain would say “meh…she’s kinda old and fat…”

It’s almost summer now, and I’ve been seeing a bunch of these younger chubby girls walking around lately, and I don’t know, they seem to look very fuckable. I’m also very desperate for any female attention at the moment, but…that’s not the point.

Honest. To. God. How many more times do I have to tell people that ASIAN chicks ONLY like Caucasian and Asian men? Yes, you might find a couple that have black guy or whatever fetish, but those are just the exception that prove the rule.

Look at this gem I had totally forgotten about. I took this image last year during the Winter Olympics here in Vancouver.

PS: If you can’t figure it out, it’s an Asian chick with a Caucasian guy. Yah. Fuck you.