Archive for Transit
Hot Girls On Transit
January 31st, 2011 • Babes, Transit
Tags: girls, Tansit
Man, I was on my way to work this morning, and as I stepped out of my buildings lobby, there was this meh looking Asian chick with a killer body that walked by.
I was thinking of talking to her, but then I remembered I have no shot in hell with Asian girls. I visualized in my head what it would be like if I went up to her and talked to her, and it went something like this:
Me: Hey, how are you?”
Racist Asian: *thinks to herself: Who the hell is this terrorist?* (I’m middle eastern). Uh…okay…I have to go now. Bye.
Whatever.
I got to the train station, and good lord there was gorgeous red head standing at the train platform. I’ve recently had a thing for red heads. Might be because of Lois from Family Guy, who knows. Anyway, I figured chatting with her really had no upside whatsoever, other than stroking her probably already inflated ego, so I said F it.
I get onto the train and there was this hot blond sitting already giving me a dirty look before I even had a chance to decide whether or not I wanted to have sex with her not. Then again, I’m a guy, so wanting to have sex with her is my default state.
That red head was hot though.
You know what else is hot, hot girls that smell really good. Even ugly girls that smell really good, their scent is so over powering that you still want to do it with them…and bite them. But you’ll end up in prison of you do that, so I wouldn’t suggest it. Not that I’ve tried it, but I assume that’s what would happen. Sometimes I get the feeling that even trying to say Hi to a girl is grounds for the cops to arrest me.
Meh.
No Singing On The Bus Please
January 23rd, 2011 • Transit
Tags: bus, Transit
I was on the bus earlier, and there were these two fucking douche bags in the back wearing business suits, chatting with each other while AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME THEY WERE CHATTING ON THEIR CELL PHONES!
These two cunts would not shut the hell up.
I couldn’t beleive these two thought they were cool and thought we were all impressed by them.
First, you’re on the bus. The fact that you have to take the loser cruiser like the rest of us doesn’t impress us. Second, you’re in a business suit on the bus. That makes it even worse because it’s like you’re trying to be cool but you can’t afford a car, so you’re like “oh hey, I’ll go on the bus with my suit and chat on my cell phone like I’m having a business call”. The business call part is even sadder. Seriously. Get a fucking office. Get a Yaris while you’re at it dickhead.
Now, add to this that there was a girl sitting only 3 seats away from them SINGING! Yes, that’s right, she started singing.
When someone starts singing, usually they’re listening to music and get caught up in the song, but no, this girl had no iPod, no Zune, no nothing. Just her voice.
I’ll give her credit, her voice wasn’t bad, but it couldn’t drown out the two dick heads, plus, when mixed with the two dick heads, it was worse than me having to try and talk to a girl, and if you know anything about me, you know that that is really bad.
There were three really hot girls on the bus though. I had no chance with them, but that’s not really anything new…
Oh…Vanessa Williams just started on my Zune.
Fuck you, it’s good shit, haters.
Fucking Flaky White Stuff
January 20th, 2011 • Transit, Video
Tags: Larry David, Scottie Pippen, Snow, Weatherman
As Scottie Pippen once said, what the fuck is up with this flaky white stuff?!
And unlike Scottie Pippen who was talking about deodorant (though I think he was in a back handed way saying white people), I’m talking about it fucking snowing today.
I wake up, look outside, and it’s wet out. I don’t see any snow. I put on the news, watch the weatherman, and he doesn’t say shit all about the snow. Great! It’s only going to rain today. Excellent. I would prefer the sun and a cameltoed 19 year blond with big tits, but hey, sometimes you gotta settle for rain and fat chicks. That’s life.
I get outside, and notice some wet snow hitting the ground. It’s not sticking, which is great. I start walking to work. As I get closer to the train station, I notice that there is some snow sticking, but not much, so on we go.
By the way, many hot girls on the train that I have no chance in hell with, but as the hot Asian girls that I have no chance with like to say, whatevz.
I get to my destination, and holy shit, snow everywhere! MOTHER FUCK! My shoes are fucking Puma’s. They have no grip.
I start walking down the stairs, and whoops! I slip and take some random dude down with me. It was a fucking bitch I tell you.
Luckily the dude I took down was cool, and really just ended up bruising my hip. The walk to the bust stop wasn’t any better, but I didn’t slip.
What the fuck weatherman!? Were you busy getting a blowjob from your intern or something?
As Larry David said, he’s a very slick weatherman.
Scottie Pippen.
Effeminate Dude At Train Station
January 13th, 2011 • Transit
Tags: Effeminate
Let me start this post by saying that as a transit user, I’m use to seeing things that make me go “hmmmmm” all the time on public transit. Anyone’s who has ever been on any form of public transit has seem or heard something weird.
Well, earlier this evening as I was waiting for the train home, these two people showed up on the platform, making me go “hmmmmm”.
I couldn’t tell if it was a lesbian couple, or the worlds most effeminate Asian man, ever.
I asked two of my coworkers and they confirmed that the person that I thought was a chick is indeed a male. Normally I don’t have any problems figuring out a persons gender. For example, I’m great at spotting tranny’s. Plus, my gaydar, even on the most femme lesbians is pretty fucking awesome if I do say so myself.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
The girl he was with wasn’t anything really special. Tallish, skinny Asian girl.
Generally speaking, Asian guys that are straight out of Hong Kong are definitely more effeminate, but this dude took it to whole other level. On top of that, he had the worst haircut ever. It was beyond bad. Add to that his horrible dye job.
I shouldn’t criticize, he’s got a girl with him and I’m still getting rejected by BBW’s on craigslist….but seriously…I’m just say’n.
It got to the point where I just couldn’t look at them anymore. It was almost like a show I was watching last night on great white sharks, where the showed the sexual organs of a male shark. I was so disgusted by it that I just had to change the channel. That’s how I felt at the train station.
Oh look, it’s porn star Sophie Dee. What’s she doing here?!
Crazy Asian Troll At The Train Station This Morning
July 9th, 2010 • Transit
Tags: Crazy Asian Girl, Crazy People, Crazy People On Transit, Train, Transit
This morning I was standing on the train platform waiting for the train to arrive, and I see this little fucking Asian troll walking towards me with her arms wide open wanting a damn hug.
I’m thinking “ummm…free hug? Okay…whatever”, so I give the girl a hug, and as I’m hugging her, she gives me a kiss on the neck. I thought to myself “What the fuck is this?”
Then she keep staring at me, and I’m getting a little creeped out at this point. So I start to walk away and she starts following me, and pinches my left arm really hard.
“That hurt hunny?” She says. I continue to walk away, trying my best to get the fuck away from this troll hat’s obviously forgotten to take her god damn meds. I stop, turn around, with her going “where you going hunny? where you go hunny?”, and then she punches me in the chest.
Two seconds later, the train arrives and she turns around and gets into the first car, giving me a look like I should join her.
Fuck that, I make a quick run to the very end of the platform and get into the last car.
Naturally, if she was hot this would have been a different story. She could have kicked me in the nuts and I wouldn’t have said anything.
Worst designed bus ever
May 26th, 2010 • Transit
Tags: bus, Transit
Whoever designed this bus that I’m on right now is a damn idiot.
This is a bad picture, but only because these seats are so close to mine.
How dumb is it that I have to face the person that’s sitting right infront of me.
Adrianne Curry thinks you should STFU
May 24th, 2010 • Babes, Transit
Tags: Adrianne Curry, Crazy lady on the bus
I remember I was on the bus going to my high school reunion, and I was looking for a place to sit, so I went to the back of the bus and got a seat. As I was walking to the back I thought to myself “sitting in the back of the bus is bad news…maybe I shouldn’t sit back here…”, but by the time I had finished talking to myself I was already at the back of the bus and found a seat.
Then, two stops later, this crazy lady gets on the bus through the back doors and comes and sits next to me. Right away I could tell she was staring at me through my peripheral vision. She then says to me “your hair is bothering me”.
I don’t know why that Adrianne Curry tweet reminded me of that, but I thought I share.
Lady on the train eating corn
May 21st, 2010 • Transit
Tags: Eating on the train, Train
This lady on the train was eating corn. It was disgusting. Everytime she took a bite food would get splattered everywhere.
London commuters take the tube to work naked
May 18th, 2010 • Transit
Tags: London, Naked, Tube
From The Daily Mail:
It was a cheeky and unexpected sight that greeted commuters as they boarded a Tube into work.
But the four naked men and women certainly livened up the usually dull journey for many people – attracting gasps from stunned workers.
Carrying handbags or briefcases to cover their modesty – and wearing shoes – the nudes travelled on escalators and rode in the carriages as though their lack of suitable attire was completely normal.
You can see the nude people here.
I think the naked girl at the top of the escalator has fake breasts. Like Jerry Seinfeld once said, at least this is a good naked, not a bad naked.
McShit
May 4th, 2010 • Transit
Tags: bus, McShit, McShit jacket
I couldn’t get a picture of this girls face, but she had a wild mohawk and was acting like she was high on something.
Cool gear though.
Talking to girls on Transit
May 2nd, 2010 • Transit
Tags: buses, Girls on transit, Hot asian chicks, trains
I usually try and talk to the girls that are on the buses and trains, but a lot of them have headphones on. I’ve found a way to get around that that’s pretty harmless and fun, but I haven’t tried anything in a while.
I’m going to try something tomorrow. I just love chatting with random girls. I actually feel weird if I don’t chat with them after. It starts to bug me and ruin my day.
If you have any openers, let me know and I’ll try it out.
I have no idea what this ad is about, but its two hot asian chicks, and as we all know, two hot asian chicks is the correct answer for everything.
Subway Love
May 1st, 2010 • Transit, Video
Tags: Subway love
According to the NyPost.com, a new web site aims to get subway goers hooking up with eachother.
Next stop: true love.
A new Web site that’s essentially eHarmony for straphangers is helping riders with similar commutes break the ice without the creepiness of approaching each other underground.
SubMate.com lets users enter their departure and arrival stations and the time of day they travel — and then matches the results with people taking similar trips.
“Every day, before and after your commute, you’re surrounded by people,” said the site’s developer, Paris-based programmer Laurent Kretz. “Among them, there might be a bass player for your band — or a cute girl you could date.”
90% of the people that signup on this will be dudes & cross dressers. It’ll be like all the other “dating” sites on the net.
Have you ever tried talking to a cute girl on the bus or train? Most of them act like you’re trying to murder them to begin with. Doesn’t stop me from trying, but whatever.
I’ll stick looking at pictures of Megan Fox.
Douche with ear phones
April 5th, 2010 • Transit
Tags: Loud music
I was on the train earlier and this dude in the picture was blasting his music through his ear phones.
Douch.
No one on my train this morning
April 5th, 2010 • Transit
Tags: Empty Train, The Train
I must be the only person working today.
Japanese Chicks Dancing And Singing On A Train
April 1st, 2010 • Transit, Video
Tags: J-Pop, Joshi Kashimashi Monogatari, Morning Musume
J-Pop idol group Morning Musume is featured here in their latest video, Joshi Kashimashi Monogatari.
Who can tell their age? They’re definitely not legal. I have the hardest time telling how old Asian girls are.
Dude growling at me on the bus
April 1st, 2010 • Transit
Tags: Growling at me on the bus, weird dude on the bus
I was on the bus late last night coming home from the gym, and I was sitting way at the back where usually the freaks go.
I sit down, and this dude sitting next to me all of a sudden starts growling at me. I didn’t even bother to turn my head and look. I’ve dealt with enough weirdo’s to know it’s best to never look at them. It’s like looking at an angry dog; it’ll only provoke them.
Girl on transit that didn’t want to play tic tac toe
March 26th, 2010 • Transit
Tags: The Train, Tic Tac Toe, Transit
So I have this pick up routine where I ask a girl if she wants to play tic tac toe with me on my iPhone. They always say yes, and it’s a great and harmless way to start chatting with them.
I asked this one I was sitting next to and she said no because she said she’s getting off the train soon.
Well we go by 3 train stations, and she ends up getting off at my stop.
Not only that, she then gets on the same bus as me! And then she gets off at the same bus stop!
Anyway, I always see her on the bus and train now and it’s just weird.
I feel like asking her to play again.
Was stuck on the bus with girls going to prison
March 25th, 2010 • Transit
Tags: Prison, Teenage chicks on the bus
I was stuck on the bus with these teenage chicks that weretalking about their upcoming court dates and when their bf’s get out of prison. Pure class.
Then I got off the bus and walked by 5 hot girls in ripped tights. That was hot.
Turn the music down
March 25th, 2010 • Transit
Tags: Loud music, Transit
I’m stuck on the bus with a fucking douche that’s blasting his music through his headphones.
I would love to just rip them out of his ears right now.
On the bus with losers
March 24th, 2010 • Transit
Tags: Losers, Transit
I’m on the bus going to the gym and there’s a hot Asian chick that’s fallen asleep next to me.
There’s all these thug losers with their girlfriends on the bus. Eh, these girls seem rather trashy and dirty. One of them is picking their nose.
Oh God now they’re standing at the back of the bus, sticking their asses out with their pants that are literally falling down.
Oh God no one of them is sitting next to me now, and just took a peak at what I’m writing.
Let’s hope can’t read.
Now they’re swearing at eachother about how they missed their stop.
Stupid guy talking on the train
March 24th, 2010 • Transit
Tags: Talking on the train, The Train
My God this guy at the far corner has been talking on hi cell for over 10 minutes now. Shut the hell up!
Pick a seat
March 23rd, 2010 • Transit
Tags: Transit, Weird guy on the bus that can't pick a seat
A guy just got on the bus, stares at each person for 3 long seconds, then stared at the seat he seemed to like, and then looked at the seat next to it, stares at both of them for 5 seconds, and then picked the first seat he looked at and sat down.
I’d take a picture, but the dude is staring right at me.
Porn on the bus!
March 23rd, 2010 • Sex, Transit
Tags: bus, Porn
From Ananova:
Soft porn for bus passengers
Bus passengers in Sofia are being shown soft porn films on giant video screens at night.During the day the plasma screens in the Bulgarian capital show bus times, but the night shift now has the porn films on view.
A spokesman for the station management said: “We wanted to give the passengers something to take their minds off the cold and to pass the time while waiting for a bus, and there are unlikely to be children around that time of night.”
The move however has angered many, including mothers with young children, who say the movies are a disgrace.
They also claim the security guards have stopped patrolling for troublemakers, and spend their time watching the giant screens instead.
I wonder if they know about BangBus.
The cans
March 22nd, 2010 • Transit
Tags: Bum on the bus, Pop cans
I don’t want sound like a dick, but this dude with the cans is preventing all the hot girls that get on the bus from coming and sitting in the back….with me.
I love skirts as well, ladies
March 22nd, 2010 • Transit
Tags: Hot girls, Skirts
There’s some hot babes on the bus talking about how they love being able to wear skirts again because of the weather. Ladies, I’m happy you can wear skirts again as well.
Dude on the bus with me keeps talking himself
March 22nd, 2010 • Transit
Tags: Pizza, Someone talking to himself on the bus
There’s a dude sitting next to me on the bus that keeps talking to himself.
There’s also thus girl that’s having pizza. Stinking up the entire bus.
Big cell phone and cutting things up
March 22nd, 2010 • Transit
Tags: big cell phone, big construction worker
There’s a dude on the train with the biggest cell phone I have ever see . Wonder if he needs to put a quarter in that thing.
There’s a also this big construction worker standing next to me the train and chatting on his cell phone about cutting things up like a psycho.
Plus there’s a dude on his laptop typing away. Damn thing sounds like typewriter.
Chocolate on the bus – They might be trying to poison me
March 13th, 2010 • Transit
Tags: Fights, Free Chocolates, The Train, Transit
Apparently the local transit authority was handing out free chocolates.
You can read about it here.
I’ve gotten into so many fights with bus drivers and train attendants that I’d be to scared to accept any free candy. They’d probably be trying to poison me.
