Meeting A Girl Tonight

June 3rd, 2011 • Babes, Random
Tags: dating, Fart, Farting, Hot Girl, PlentyOfFish, POF

My POF journey continues as I’m meeting a pretty hot girl tonight for a coffee.

My actual biggest concern isn’t so much if I’ll totally mess it up, because I’ve done that so often that it’s just “meh” these days, my biggest concern is if I fart or not.

I’ve been eating a lot more fruit lately, especially in the mornings, and apparently if you have too much fruit, you get pretty gassy and start farting, and let me tell you, my farts stink so bad they could suffocate an entire room.

I was watching TV last night and I let out a few farts, and OMG, I had to open up the windows. When I was on the train the other day, I let one out, and my buddy standing next to me said “oh snap, someone let out a nasty fart…”. I had to tell him it was me. Surprised he didn’t know as he was standing right next to me.

Apparently Some Guy Is Creepy

May 19th, 2011 • Random, Sex
Tags: Creepy, dating, Evolution, Women

I was at lunch today with a couple girls from work, and they mentioned that a guy that works on our office floor creeps them out.

Now, knowing women as I do, I know the smallest thing about a man can creep them out, so I asked, “what about him specifically creeps you out?”

At first they both shrugged and couldn’t really say one specific thing, so I pressed them on it and they both mentioned that he tends to stare at them.

Now, granted, as Dave Chappelle pointed out, us men really need to control ourselves when we stare at women. We can’t scream out (as Chappelle said) “Damn look at them titties!”, and I myself hate it when I get on the train or just go somewhere I can feel someone staring at me. Though, I doubt they’re looking at me and going “damn he’s hot..I’d love to do it with him right now…”. Though, there’s a lot of gay guys in my city, and I’ve been told by other gay men that I’d be popular in the gay community. Wish I was popular in the straight female community. Meh.

Reminds me of that episode of Seinfeld where Jerry tells George that he can’t stare at cleavage for a long period – it’s like looking at the sun, you take a quick peak and turn away.

Now I have no luck whatsoever with women. What adds to the bad luck is that my town is filled with Asian chicks, which only like Caucasian and Asian men.

There’s this really cute Asian girl that works as the floor receptionist in my building, and I have a feeling that I creeped her out once when I kept talking to her, so eventually I completely stopped…and now I think I’m coming off as a dick.

It’s really interesting because when you think about it, everything we do as humans is designed for us to mate. Everything. The human brain is really nothing more than a mating advertising machine, as has been written in The Mating Mind.

So, you would think with the milllions of years of evolution, everything that we have gone through as a species, that we as men anyway, would have at least some idea on how to deal with women, but we don’t, as our goals and interests are completely different from women’s.

We are basically clueless, especially in today’s modern world where women have gained so much power in the last 50 years (all good things), that we as men, and even women, have no idea on how to deal with this.

Women want to be treated as equals in every which way, but still want all the chivalry. All I ever hear from women is “chivalry is dead”. As my man Chappelle said, “chivalry is dead, and women killed it”.

Women, no matter what the fucking stats are saying, make just as much as men, and have lower expenses. They don’t need to pay for the dates, the trips, all the courting/mating things that have to go on. The men have to do that. That shit costs money. You can’t take a woman for just a god damn ice cream and movie anymore. No sir. Movie, dinner, perhaps a little gift, etc.

Now, I can’t blame women for wanting these things. It’s in their biology. It’s in the genes. Women are looking for a man that can bring home the bacon, that can provide for them and their offspring, etc. This stuff goes back millions of years.

But at the same time, women cannot blame us men for wanting hot, young, fertile females. That’s in our genes. They can’t blame us for “thinking with our penises”. That’s how we’re made.

Note to all women: If us men weren’t horn dogs chasing every piece of ass we could, you probably wouldn’t be around. Your father had to be chasing your mom, courting her, flirting, buying her stuff so he could eventually mate with her and get his AND her genes into the next generation.

So, yes, the guy may have come off as creepy, but then again, I think most guys at some point do, because we have no idea what the fuck we’re supposed to do.

Can’t Get A Date? Put On Some Careless Whisper

June 20th, 2010 • Random, Video
Tags: Careless Whisper, dating, Gold Diggers, Music, Romantic Music, Women

As you may know, I’m too ugly to get women, even the blowup dolls and fleshlights reject me, but fear not friends, if you’re having problems attracting that one special gold digger, French cocksuckers eeer researchers have found a way for you to get that lucky cunt, Eurekalert reports:

If you’re having trouble getting a date, French researchers suggest that picking the right soundtrack could improve the odds. Women were more prepared to give their number to an ‘average’ young man after listening to romantic background music, according to research that appears today in the journal Psychology of Music, published by SAGE.

There’s plenty of research indicating that the media affects our behaviour. Violent video games or music with aggressive lyrics increase the likelihood of aggressive behaviour, thoughts and feelings – but do romantic songs have any effect? This question prompted researchers Nicolas Guéguen and Céline Jacob from the Université de Bretagne-Sud along with Lubomir Lamy from Université de Paris-Sud to test the power of romantic lyrics on 18-20 year old single females. And it turns out that at least one romantic love song did make a difference.

Guéguen and Jacob were part of a research team that had already shown how romantic music played in a flower shop led to male customers spending more money. This time the researchers used questionnaires to pinpoint agreed-upon neutral and romantic songs. They chose ‘Je l’aime à mourir’, a well-known love song by French songwriter Francis Cabrel, and the neutral song ‘L’heure du thé’, by Vincent Delerm. A group of young women separate from the main study rated 12 young male volunteers for attractiveness, and the researchers picked the one rated closest to ‘average’ to help with the experiment.

The researchers then set up a scenario where the 87 females each spent time in a waiting room with background music playing, before moving to a different room where the experimenter instructed her to discuss the difference between two food products with the young man. Once the experimenter returned, she asked them to wait for a few moments alone, and this gave the ‘average’ male a chance to use his standard chat up line: “My name is Antoine, as you know, I think you are very nice and I was wondering if you would give me your phone number. I’ll phone you later and we can have a drink together somewhere next week.’

The love song in the waiting room almost doubled Antoine’s chances of getting a woman’s number – 52% of participants responded to his advances under the influence of Francis Cabrel, whereas only 28% of those who had heard the ‘neutral’ song by Vincent Delerm offered their details.

So go to the bar, slip the bartender a $20 to put on Careless Whisper, and before you know it, you’ll be $20,000 in debt before the night is over. Great Success!

Two hot asian girls. You can take one out for less than $25.

May 15th, 2010 • Babes
Tags: asian, Asian girls, dating

I’ll take the one in the blue.

Porn stars will tell you how guys ruin the moment

May 14th, 2010 • Babes, Video
Tags: dating, Guys, Porn stars, Relationships, Ruining the moment, Sex

I remember once listening to a sex talk show on the radio and this guy that called in said he ruined the moment by having a shit stain on his white underwear. Yeah, that’ll pretty much ruin it.