Well, Duh

June 8th, 2010 • Celebs, Video
Tags: Alcohol, drugs, Lindsay Lohan, SCRAM

Shocking news friends, Lindsay Lohan violated the terms of her parole! OMGz! TMZ reports:

Lindsay Lohan is a wanted woman — Judge Marsha Revel has just issued a bench warrant for her arrest, and it’s all about the SCRAM.

Bail has been forfeited for the previous hearing. The new bail has been set at $200,000.

There are 5 violations, according to the judge.

We’re going to break it down for you. Lindsay was on probation when she failed to appear in court last month. At that point, Judge Revel revoked her probation and set bail at $100,000. In return for bail, Lindsay promised to appear for a hearing on the probation violation — set for July 6. Because of the SCRAM incident, the $100,000 bail has now been forfeited. Instead of throwing Lindsay in jail pending the July hearing, the judge is allowing her to post new bail — set at $200,000, so she can remain free.

Lindsay’s SCRAM bracelet generated a report to SCRAM officials sometime after the MTV Movie Awards Sunday night.

Sources say the SCRAM data shows evidence of alcohol.

AAWW SHIT, but this can’t be true! Lilo posted a couple hours ago on her Twitter:

My scram wasn’t set off-Its physically impossible considering I’ve nothing for it to go off-All of these false resports are absolutely wrong

This is all because of a FALSE accusation by tabloids& paparazzi& it is fucking digusting- I’ve been more than I’m compliance &feeling great

Christ, this chick is in California, and they don’t do shit out there to Celebs. If she was in Texas, she’d be servicing illegal immigrants right now with free blowjobs.

She should just pose naked for playboy and start doing hardcore porn.

Lindsay Lohan has a new BFF

June 4th, 2010 • Celebs
Tags: BFF, Drinking, drugs, Lady Victoria "Lady V" Hervey, Lindsay Lohan, SCRAM

Lindsay Lohan has a new BFF, People reports:

Lindsay Lohan has a new member of her entourage: British model and socialite Lady Victoria “Lady V” Hervey. They hooked up at the Cannes Film Festival and have been spotted hanging out at the Sunset Tower Hotel and seeing the Sex and the City sequel together.

Lindsay Lohan has an entourage? A human entourage? I thought the only things that followed her around where drugs, alochol, and semen?

I don’t know anything about “Lady Victoria”, “Lady V”, whatever she wants to be known as, other than she apparently likes to have Lindsay Lohan munching on her carpet at night.

I remember back in the day when Lindsay Lohan was still young and hot and Frankie Munez could have banged her.

Now she’s doing straight to wal-mart dvd porn flicks where she has guys spit on her.

Kinda makes you lose wood, really.

Lindsay Lohan Is Clearing Rumors

May 24th, 2010 • Celebs
Tags: Cannes, Dina Lohan, drugs, Lindsay Lohan, Probation

Blah Blah. God this chick is a mess. She looks like she aged 20 years in Cannes.

If you don’t want to go through the mental anguish of watching the video, I’ll save you the time and tell you that she basically denies everything, even though she everyone who knows how to use a camera following her all over the place in Cannes and taking pictures of her partying.

And her mother told RadarOnline:

“We did what we had to do to protect her,” Dina said. It’s a statement that may not be looked at favorably by the judge and prosecutor handling Lindsay’s probation violation case. “We did that for court purposes and the warrant purposes. To clear all that up before she hits American soil, which we have done, so she is now able to come.” “There was no music to face. We were dealing with issues to get her back safely — without an arrest and vacate the warrant. And that takes time, that doesn’t happen overnight. There are a lot of phone calls, a lot of people involved and a lot of decisions being made. So we did what we had to do to protect her.”We were dealing with the attorneys. We have a criminal attorney that pretty much tells us which direction to go.” “I left court, I spoke with Lindsay and told her that I would be making arrangements for bail to be posted so that she would not be arrested upon return to Los Angeles.”

Wow sometimes I feel like I’m taking crazy pills listening to the Lohans.

Sex, Drugs, and Coco Puffs

December 27th, 2009 • Uncategorized
Tags: Books, coco puffs, drugs, girls, Sex

I tried going up to girls with this book an saying “hey, so do you do any of these in the morning?”

Needless to say, no one has a sense of humor.