The Most Interesting Man In The World

May 21st, 2011 • Video
Tags: Dos Equis, Evolution, Men, The Most Interesting Man In The World, Women

If you’ve seen these Dos Equis commercials, you know how awesome they are. I found this compilation and couldn’t stop laughing.

I have to say, he is a handsome man. It’s interesting how as men get older, we see them as better looking, more mature and dignified – just plain cooler. Where as for women, not so much.

It obviously goes back to our evolution, where women must be young and attractive – hence they are fertile and can give us babies. Evolution is a cruel lady. Ironic.

Apparently Some Guy Is Creepy

May 19th, 2011 • Random, Sex
Tags: Creepy, dating, Evolution, Women

I was at lunch today with a couple girls from work, and they mentioned that a guy that works on our office floor creeps them out.

Now, knowing women as I do, I know the smallest thing about a man can creep them out, so I asked, “what about him specifically creeps you out?”

At first they both shrugged and couldn’t really say one specific thing, so I pressed them on it and they both mentioned that he tends to stare at them.

Now, granted, as Dave Chappelle pointed out, us men really need to control ourselves when we stare at women. We can’t scream out (as Chappelle said) “Damn look at them titties!”, and I myself hate it when I get on the train or just go somewhere I can feel someone staring at me. Though, I doubt they’re looking at me and going “damn he’s hot..I’d love to do it with him right now…”. Though, there’s a lot of gay guys in my city, and I’ve been told by other gay men that I’d be popular in the gay community. Wish I was popular in the straight female community. Meh.

Reminds me of that episode of Seinfeld where Jerry tells George that he can’t stare at cleavage for a long period – it’s like looking at the sun, you take a quick peak and turn away.

Now I have no luck whatsoever with women. What adds to the bad luck is that my town is filled with Asian chicks, which only like Caucasian and Asian men.

There’s this really cute Asian girl that works as the floor receptionist in my building, and I have a feeling that I creeped her out once when I kept talking to her, so eventually I completely stopped…and now I think I’m coming off as a dick.

It’s really interesting because when you think about it, everything we do as humans is designed for us to mate. Everything. The human brain is really nothing more than a mating advertising machine, as has been written in The Mating Mind.

So, you would think with the milllions of years of evolution, everything that we have gone through as a species, that we as men anyway, would have at least some idea on how to deal with women, but we don’t, as our goals and interests are completely different from women’s.

We are basically clueless, especially in today’s modern world where women have gained so much power in the last 50 years (all good things), that we as men, and even women, have no idea on how to deal with this.

Women want to be treated as equals in every which way, but still want all the chivalry. All I ever hear from women is “chivalry is dead”. As my man Chappelle said, “chivalry is dead, and women killed it”.

Women, no matter what the fucking stats are saying, make just as much as men, and have lower expenses. They don’t need to pay for the dates, the trips, all the courting/mating things that have to go on. The men have to do that. That shit costs money. You can’t take a woman for just a god damn ice cream and movie anymore. No sir. Movie, dinner, perhaps a little gift, etc.

Now, I can’t blame women for wanting these things. It’s in their biology. It’s in the genes. Women are looking for a man that can bring home the bacon, that can provide for them and their offspring, etc. This stuff goes back millions of years.

But at the same time, women cannot blame us men for wanting hot, young, fertile females. That’s in our genes. They can’t blame us for “thinking with our penises”. That’s how we’re made.

Note to all women: If us men weren’t horn dogs chasing every piece of ass we could, you probably wouldn’t be around. Your father had to be chasing your mom, courting her, flirting, buying her stuff so he could eventually mate with her and get his AND her genes into the next generation.

So, yes, the guy may have come off as creepy, but then again, I think most guys at some point do, because we have no idea what the fuck we’re supposed to do.

“Sex at Dawn”: Why Monogamy Goes Against Our Nature

June 27th, 2010 • Sex
Tags: "Sex at Dawn": Why Monogamy Goes Against Our Nature, Brooklyn Decker, Cacilda Jetha, Christopher Ryan, Evolution, Marriage, Relationships, Sex

Salon Magazine did an interview with Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá, the authors of the new book “Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality,”, about the sorry state of marriage in the western world, and how monogamy goes completely against evolution.

From Salon:

But Ryan and Jethá also have a theory for what’s causing this misery: From a biological perspective, men and women simply aren’t meant to be in lifelong monogamous unions. In “Sex at Dawn,” which uses evidence gathered from human physiology, archaeology, primate biology and anthropological studies of pre-agricultural tribes from around the world, they argue that monogamy and the nuclear family are more recent inventions than most of us would expect — and far less natural than we’ve come to believe.

You can read more at the Salon web site by clicking here.

This stuff has been written about in hundreds if not thousands of books. For men especially, monogamy is almost impossible, especially after the kids are grown up. The male brain sends a signal saying “hey, look, this woman has given us two kids, they’re both grown up now, they don’t need us anymore, we can leave and start a new family with a much younger and hotter woman”.

Men are visual creatures. We see a hot babe, the blood flow to the brain stops and it all goes straight to the penis, wanting us to “pro-create”.

Kinda like when I see the Brooklyn Decker, all I want to do is have unprotected sex with her. She’s so hot that I wouldn’t care how many baby’s I’d have with her. Hot babes are much better to have baby’s with. Who wants to have make a baby with an ugly chick? You’ll be thinking to yourself “Fuck, if that’s what she looks like now, imagine what she’s going to look like in 18 years”. That’s when you jump off a bridge.

Dating Site Starts Online Sperm and Egg Bank for “Beautiful People”

June 22nd, 2010 • Sex, Video
Tags: Beatifulpeople.com, Egg Bank, Eugenics, Evolution, Jessica Simpson, Online Sperm Donation, Psychology

So, where do I leave my deposit? From Mashable.com:

Every child is beautiful (well, not really, but that’s the cliche, right?), and now — thanks to BeautifulPeople.com — you can up the chances of having offspring worthy of a baby modeling career. That’s right, the controversial dating site now has a forum/sperm bank where one may search for genetic material from beautiful people and beautiful people alone.

Back in the winter months, BeautifulPeople.com — a dating website that only allows attractive people to join based on the democratic vote of its members — gained its share of media attention after expelling 5,000 people after they packed on the holiday pounds. Back then, Founder Robert Hintze said, “Letting fatties roam the site is a direct threat to our business model and the very concept for which BeautifulPeople.com was founded.”

Now, the site is taking further steps in the fight against unattractiveness (at least unattractiveness as gauged by people who dig conventionality) by launching a fertility introduction service that allows both members and non-members to score the stuff that dream babies are made of. According to Managing Director Greg Hodge, “There are no financial benefits for us in doing so — we are simply responding to a demand for attractive donors. Every parent would like their child to be blessed with many fine attributes, attractiveness being one of the most sought after. For a site with members who resemble Brad Pitt, George Clooney and Angelina Jolie you can imagine the demand.”

Hintze added that initially the service was to be limited to hotties and hotties alone, “But everyone — including ugly people — would like to bring good looking children in to the world, and we can’t be selfish with our attractive gene pool.” How very generous of him.

This is just stupid. These are most idiotic group of fucking morons I have ever read about. Besides, I rather do it the old fashion way, by having unprotected sex with some hot girl I meet at a club. DUH!

And for the record, this is totally eugenics.

Obviously the dick head that runs this site has never read a book on psychology or evolution. Men, obviously like hot women, that’s in our genes, that’s how we work, so ladies, stop complaining to us about it. Whereas women, yes, they do like an attractive man, but the physical aspect of it is no where as close to what it is for men.

Women prefer a man who can provide security (next time you meet a gold digger, don’t blame her, its in her genes), and has a great personality. That’s it. A man get far further with his personality than a woman can.

Take my word for it, the people that end up meeting eachother on these sites are usually the ones that ask of if Tuna is a form of Chicken.

Humans Are Special Because We Can Masturbate. A Lot.

June 22nd, 2010 • Sex, Video
Tags: Evolution, Humans, Humans Masturbating, Master of your domain, Masturbating, Masturbation, Seinfeld

I always knew I was special, Scientific American Reports:

This conjuring ability to create fantasy scenes in our heads that literally bring us to orgasm when conveniently paired with our dextrous appendages is an evolutionary magic trick that I suspect is uniquely human. It requires a cognitive capacity called mental representation (an internal “re-presentation” of a previously experienced image or some other sensory input) that many evolutionary theorists believe is a relatively recent hominid innovation.

When it comes to sex, we put this capacity to very good—or at least, very frequent—use. In a now-classic, pre-Internet-porn (I’ll get to that later on) study by British evolutionary biologists Robin Baker and Mark Bellis, male university students were found to masturbate to ejaculation about every 72 hours, and “on the majority of occasions, their last masturbation is within 48 hours of their next in-pair copulation.” If they’re not having intercourse every day, that is to say, men tend to pleasure themselves to completion no more than two days prior to having actual sex.

Question is, are you master of your domain?

Click here to read the rest of the article from Scientific American. You know you want to.

Russell Brand needs an orgasm every 15 minutes

May 28th, 2010 • Celebs
Tags: Evolution, Katy Perry, Russell Brand, Sex Addiction

Russell Brand recently did an interview with Parade magazine. Here’s an excerpt about his sex addiction:

“We’ve been hearing a lot on the news about sex addiction. Let me explain. There’s this gland in men that produces testosterone and compels them to procreate with numerous women. Men don’t face the imperative of having a baby grow in their belly, so the male mating strategy is based on making a lot of women pregnant, or at least having sex with them. The female strategy is to get one good man. That’s why marriage is not fair. I may use that argument tonight with my fiancée.”

SEE! Exactly what I’ve been saying all this time!

You’re welcome

The Worlds Fattest Man

May 22nd, 2010 • Video, WTF
Tags: Donna Simpson, Evolution, Paul Mason, Worlds Fattest Man

YEEESH! Poor guy.

Reminds me of this article I read in the Vancouver Sun:

The evolutionary impulses that allowed our ancestors to survive on the Savannah are sabotaging us in the modern world, finds groundbreaking new research.

According to Deirdre Barrett, a clinical professor of psychology at Harvard Medical School, our lingering primal urges have helped give rise to the obesity epidemic, social isolation, poor risk-assessment tendencies and sex addiction, among countless other things. All because our biology hasn’t caught up to the way we live.

And lets not forget about Donna Simpson, who’s aiming to become the worlds fattest woman.

From the no shit department: Larger Breasts Pay Off for Waitresses, Study by Hotel Professor Finds

May 10th, 2010 • Babes, Sex
Tags: Evolution, Hooters, Large Breasts, Larger Breasts Pay Off for Waitresses, Study by Hotel Professor Finds, Waitresses

From The Cornell Daily Sun:

Prof. Michael Lynn, marketing and tourism, surveyed 374 waitresses about their perceived “sexiness,” breast size and other physical characteristics and correlated these results with the amount of tips the waitresses received.

His results indicate that evolutionary instinct trumps the ideals many patrons profess. Though most customers say they reward service, Lynn reports that quality of service has less than a 2-percent effect on the actual tip.

Instead, he found that waitresses with larger bra sizes received higher tips — as did women with blonde hair and slender bodies.