Forgive the crappy quality of these screen caps I found online of Lindsay Lohan’s latest movie, Machete. I haven’t seen it yet, but apparently her role in it is super small. Mainly her topless. so I figure this is her entire scene in the movie.

The movie actually looks pretty good, and it has Jessica Alba in it, who is always very good at being hot and looking like she’s pissed off and wants to kill you.

That’s hot.

Someone on God’s green Earth needs to fucking explain to me how a chick that was just released from prison, has addictions ranging from jelly beans, to crack, cock, and vagina, and hasn’t worked in ages (minus the photo shoots she did before going to prison), plus had to go to court because she was driving around like a maniac and allegedly kidnapped people or something.

Meh. Whatever. I’d do her.

The world’s most famous drug addicted former actress ginger, Lindsay Lohan is in the latest issue of Maxim.

I’d hit that.

Here we have Lindsay Lohan in the latest issue of Vogue Italy, and good lord, being in prison and going to rehab and not being around her parents has been great for her.

I would so do her.

I may have to fly down to California and tempt her with some alcohol. Here Lindsay….Here Lindsay!

Lindsay Lohan is featured on the September issue of Maxim.

Wow going to jail has been great for her. Look at all this work she’s been getting.

I’d do her.

Deep thoughts, I know. You’re welcome.

According to reports, Lindsay’s already been replaced as Linda Lovelace in Inferno, but here’s the pictures she did with Tyler Shields for the movie.

Nothing against Tyler Shields, but Lindsay needs to look trashy and skanky for her to do anything for me. Kinda like in these pictures.

Lindsay Lohan started her 90 day jail stint today, and she’ll be all by herself, so the other inmates won’t get to scissor with her. How unfortunate.

Lindsay Lohan appears in the August issue of the appropriately (for her) titled magazine, Complex, looking not bad. I’m sure the lesbians in prison will love to see this.

Here’s the photo shoot video for the GQ Germany August 2010 issue that Lindsay Lohan did with Ellen von Unwerth.

You know, I have to say, for a chick that does nothing but party, drugs, and drink redbull like its water, she’s still in pretty good shape. I’d totally do her. Unfortunately those mean lesbians in prison have first dibs on her.

Hollywood has led me to believe that lesbian’s in prison are hot, blonde, have big tits and and wear nothing underneath their prison outfits, but, somehow I think Lindsay will be getting lesbian’s that look Berta from Two And A Half Men.

From Fox News:

Inmates of the jail where Lindsay Lohan is set to spend up to 90 days have warned of gangs out to attack the starlet, saying “everyone will want a piece of her,” one inmate said in an interview with The Sun.

Lindsay Lohan will leave her Hollywood pad next week and move into new digs at the Lynwood correctional facility in Los Angeles. But instead of wild showbiz parties and a plush double bed to curl up in afterwards, the actress will be locked up for 23 hours a day in a tiny cell with a rock-hard bunk and a single blanket.

Inmates told The Sun of the brutal conditions inside the prison, where Lohan’s A-list neighbors reportedly will be replaced with tough guards and fearsome lesbian gangs desperate to get their hands on her.

Hey, it’s worse for a guy. What could possibly happen to Lindsay if she were to drop the soap?