Audrina Patridge Is At The MTV Video Music Awards

September 12th, 2010 • Babes, Celebs
Tags: Audrina Patridge, MTV Movie Awards

Audrina Patridge and her fake tits arrived at the MTV Video Music Awards in Los Angeles earlier tonight, which had my penis rising and clapping in approval.

Now, considering I have no chance in hell with the fat chicks in the town that I live in, chances are I wouldn’t have a chance in hell with her, but my penis dares to dream!

Manifest destiny! I actually don’t know if that applies to what I’m talking about it, but I just heard Stewie on Family Guy say it so whatever.

Len Grossman was at the MTV Movie Awards

June 7th, 2010 • Babes, Celebs, Video
Tags: Audrina Patridge, Cameron Diaz, Christina Aguilera, J-WOWW, Katy, Ken Jeong, Kristen Stewart, Len Grossmam, Lily Collins, Lindsay Lohan, MTV Movie Awards, Nicky Hilton, Paris Hilton, Snookie, Snoop Dog, Stephanie Pratt, Tom Cruise, Vanessa Hudgens

The show nobody watches was on last night, featuring Tom Cruise as Len Grossman. But damn, the women were looking fine. Katy Perry and her massive big tits especially.

Represent.

Tom Cruise as Les Grossman. Is it just me or does it look like Jennifer Lopez is wearing a diaper under that skirt?

Katy Perry looks good with any hair colour, thanks to her breasts.

Bleqh.

The Jersey Shore limo. Why not just show up in a trailer?

Snooki looks like one of those girls where after you’ve fucked and she rolls out of bed and you see her rolls, you’d want to chop your penis off.

Vanessa Hudgens has nice boobies.

Christina Aguilera can’t decide if she wants to look like Lady Gaga or Tori Spelling

Is Kristen Stewart 12 or something? Maybe she should just wear some jeans.

Lindsay Lohan took time out from hunting and gathering to show up at the MTV Movie awards.

I was wondering how Tom was at eye level with Cameron Diaz.

I just barfed a little in my mouth. Snooki and J-WoWW

Ken Jeong

Stephanie Pratt showed up with some dude wearing a hat. Why is this girl famous?

Lily Collins needs to get her damn eye brows trimmed.

Oh yes, Audrina Patridge

Sandra Bullock kisses Scarlett Johansson

June 6th, 2010 • Babes, Celebs
Tags: MTV Movie Awards, Sandra Bullock, Scarlett Johansson

Sandra Bullock is on a roll with these award shows. First it was Spike TV, now MTV.

Jesse James must be sitting at home in his overalls while Bombshell McGee keeps blabbering on about white power to him.

Paris, Snooki, and Nicky at the MTV Movie Awards

June 6th, 2010 • Random
Tags: MTV Movie Awards, Nicky Hilton, Paris Hilton, Snookie

Paris Hilton posted this picture of herself with Snookie and her sister at the MTV Movie Awards on her Twitter earlier.

Christ, doesn’t it look like Nikky Hilton is the cock blocker of this group? Did she great that dress at TJ Max or something?

Anyway, two chicks with herpes and the other one as the group cock blocker, I’ll pass.

Dr.Drew Is looking For More F List Celebs At The MTV Movie Awards

June 6th, 2010 • Babes, Celebs
Tags: Audrina Patridge, MTV Movie Awards, Stephanie Pratt

Does anyone even watch the MTV movie awards anymore? Unless Audrina Partridge and 18 year old Miley Cyrus decide to do a lesbian scissor, I rather watch The Dog Whisperer rub a dog’s belly.

Dr.Drew Pinsky is at this thing now? What, did he think this was a good way to beg more F List celebs to get on his show?

Why is Stephanie Pratt famous? Seriously? What the fuck does this chick even do? Audrina will look like Bugs Bunny in a few years.

Amber Lancaster spreading her legs for no reason apparently.

Actress and singer Victoria Justice

Finnish television stars The Dudesons

Robert Pattinson and Tom Cruise together in a hilarious MTV awards promo

May 28th, 2010 • Video
Tags: Les Grossman, MTV Movie Awards, Robert Pattinson, Tom Cruse

This is absolutely hilarious. Tom Cruise needs to do more of this instead of spending so much time trying to convert all of us to Scientology.

Maybe he can fly Vidal “Fucking” Sassoon up to see me as well and get me a haircut and shampoo since I’m stuck paying off gold digger debts and can’t afford a haircut right now. Though baby shampoo is nice and cheap.

And maybe he can bring Penelope Cruze up to visit me so I can try and get some of that sweet ass. Though I’m rather ugly so she’d probably go blind and run away screaming. I don’t know what’s worse, seeing my face, or her screaming with that voice of hers.