Lindsay Lohan Confuses Me

June 13th, 2010 • Celebs
Tags: Lindsay Lohan, SCRAM

Lindsay Lohan needs to stop pulling at my heart strings, one day she looks all bloated, the the next, she’s looking like Lindsay Lohan, which isn’t saying much, but I’d still do her.

I wonder what it’s like having sex with a drug addict that drinks too much that has a SCRAM bracelet around her ankle. Meh, probably like me having sex with any other girl. Once they realize its me they’re doing it with, they have a look in their eyes like they just saw the world’s ugliest dog.

Well, Duh

June 8th, 2010 • Celebs, Video
Tags: Alcohol, drugs, Lindsay Lohan, SCRAM

Shocking news friends, Lindsay Lohan violated the terms of her parole! OMGz! TMZ reports:

Lindsay Lohan is a wanted woman — Judge Marsha Revel has just issued a bench warrant for her arrest, and it’s all about the SCRAM.

Bail has been forfeited for the previous hearing. The new bail has been set at $200,000.

There are 5 violations, according to the judge.

We’re going to break it down for you. Lindsay was on probation when she failed to appear in court last month. At that point, Judge Revel revoked her probation and set bail at $100,000. In return for bail, Lindsay promised to appear for a hearing on the probation violation — set for July 6. Because of the SCRAM incident, the $100,000 bail has now been forfeited. Instead of throwing Lindsay in jail pending the July hearing, the judge is allowing her to post new bail — set at $200,000, so she can remain free.

Lindsay’s SCRAM bracelet generated a report to SCRAM officials sometime after the MTV Movie Awards Sunday night.

Sources say the SCRAM data shows evidence of alcohol.

AAWW SHIT, but this can’t be true! Lilo posted a couple hours ago on her Twitter:

My scram wasn’t set off-Its physically impossible considering I’ve nothing for it to go off-All of these false resports are absolutely wrong

This is all because of a FALSE accusation by tabloids& paparazzi& it is fucking digusting- I’ve been more than I’m compliance &feeling great

Christ, this chick is in California, and they don’t do shit out there to Celebs. If she was in Texas, she’d be servicing illegal immigrants right now with free blowjobs.

She should just pose naked for playboy and start doing hardcore porn.

Lindsay Lohan has a new BFF

June 4th, 2010 • Celebs
Tags: BFF, Drinking, drugs, Lady Victoria "Lady V" Hervey, Lindsay Lohan, SCRAM

Lindsay Lohan has a new BFF, People reports:

Lindsay Lohan has a new member of her entourage: British model and socialite Lady Victoria “Lady V” Hervey. They hooked up at the Cannes Film Festival and have been spotted hanging out at the Sunset Tower Hotel and seeing the Sex and the City sequel together.

Lindsay Lohan has an entourage? A human entourage? I thought the only things that followed her around where drugs, alochol, and semen?

I don’t know anything about “Lady Victoria”, “Lady V”, whatever she wants to be known as, other than she apparently likes to have Lindsay Lohan munching on her carpet at night.

I remember back in the day when Lindsay Lohan was still young and hot and Frankie Munez could have banged her.

Now she’s doing straight to wal-mart dvd porn flicks where she has guys spit on her.

Kinda makes you lose wood, really.